LSD trip

I felt this LSD experience should be written apart as it was way more intense. This one I did it with a couple with who I've been sexual involved before. They have an open relationship and want to experience other people together or apart. We are pretty much in the same page of wanting a connection and not only something sexual and unattached so it worked pretty well in a very respectful and connecting way our first time together. I experienced some kind of 3-way relationship, we cuddled, made pancakes and watched a movie in the next morning even.

So they invited me to take LSD with them in his house.

I did not now what was going to happened but I knew something sexual would come with it eventually.

I brought with me a vibrating egg with remote. Mar (the girl) inserted it and I was controlling it. It was a nice "apettizer"!

When the effect starting kicking I wanted to being outside in the balcony. Mo's house has a nice view with plenty of trees and although I would feel way more comfortable in that moment between them, it was enough just to appreciate it with my sight. Colours were starting to change slowly and my body feeling different.

While outside I was still controlling the egg and we were having some fun before telling him. With she did sooner than expected. So I went inside and we experimented different vibrations and it's effect. We switched it to me and it was feeling better than normally. At this point we were just observing, counting the vibration modes and evaluating them. Of course tension starts to built-up and kisses happened.

LSD has a kind of continuous high that lasts long, and divided the effect is better. So we took another piece after about an hour and at some point all of us started to engage sexually. First with the egg and then touching ourselves.

We did put a blanket and some pillows in the floor along with some music. Closed the curtains and some lights and the environment was a sexual vibe. Every touch felt great and even if nobody was touching me I was having pleasure. From touching them, from just watching... Or even if I was giving her pleasure I was feeling I was giving it to me as well. It was like we were all connected.

Every penetration felt deeper and every nerve of my body responded to it. Watching her expression seeing me with Mo and feeling herself was amplifiying my own as well. The constant pleasure was better than having an orgasm, I didn't feel the need to do so but the energy was so high that we all felt it was too much for our bodies. We would stop now and then but without never stoping to touch one another.

I couldn't stop touching her mostly, giving her oral pleasure it was liking giving it to me. After a while she orgasmed and the way she described it, I was kind of jealous. "I didn't know it was possible to feel so much pleasure".

Colours were changing again, this time I was seeing the rainbow and the same pattern everywhere.

Faces and bodies were changing as well, felt a bit extraterrestrial. Suddenly, we had the need to stand up, walk, dance and focus on different things.

Filling my cup with water to drink, I felt I was watching a movie when they are on drugs and you see strange colours, distorted figures and everything feels a bit dizy. I was in a movie! The tap was amplifiying as I came closer.

We didn't pay much attention to the time but Mo said we should take the third piece so we did and not so long after that he said a friend was coming. It didn't felt right. Someone would burst our bubble? I would have to dress myself? They said it wasn't necessary as she knew exactly how was an LSD trip and she engaged sexually with them before. Still didn't feel right but it was not my house.

I did put only a pillow in front of me and listened first to some voices and then saw two strange figures in the dark. They looked like little people with down sindrome. His friend Cheryl came in after, turned on the light and opened the window saying the room smelled like sex. In my fully innocence and high I expressed I wasn't comfortable and asked them to leave. I guess she felt offended, told us we were being rude and asked us to go to the room and change. Her friends said they would turn around and not look. All felt weird, me and Mar naked in the floor with something only covering our intimate parts and breasts were talking in secret as we didn't understand what the hell was going on.

I covered us with the blanket and we went to the room. Mo followed us a bit after saying he did not get what was going on either and maybe it was bad communication. He joined them in the living room and I tried to continue the mood with Mar without much success. She was feeling bad and uncomfortable, just wanted them to leave. It was even a strange sensation of Mo's friend being territorial and Mar didn't like it. She called Mo inside and asked him to expell them of the house. I was just feeling bad for him, after all he was high as fuck and had to deal with it. After what it felt like 15min they left and we runed to the living room again, our space, turned off the lights and closed the window.

Mar was feeling confused and sad so we talked a bit about it but left things for the next day as we wouldn't solve or understand anything during our high, obviously!

We started to see the trail of our hands and different objects in the air. Our skins looked like they were full of spots like the universe. Everything was a discovery.

We engaged sexually again and I started to feel a lot of love thought them and for them. Maybe because of what happened before or because I felt she was just maddly in love with him... I kind of had the need to protect Mar. I was seeing her as this loving caring person who didn't deserve any bad that could come in her direction. I was admiring her beauty inside and out. I was just enchanted by her.

At some point I thought that it all made sense, to be there with them. I was feeling their love and understanding it. I even thought a three way relationship would be the best of all. Imagining that one doesn't feel sexual active some day but the other two do, it all fits. As well with emotions, women just understand it better and at some point as Mar needed to cry I decided to be there for her and pass her good energy when Mo didn't know exactly how to deal with it although he knows her better.

Overall it was a beautiful energy flowing experience. I must say that the end, when it's wearing off, it doesn't feel great. It's like a heavy head pain combined with a indiposition. Our heads didn't stop but we were drained of energy. I closed my eyes for a while to focus and calmed down. I was kind of dreaming while awake. After calming down a bit I started to feel sexual again but Mar was not into it although Mo was so we started to touch each other as she revealed it wasn't comfortable for her and raised some insecurities.

At this point it was a bit frustrating, of course I wanted to respect her but in the same time I was suuuuper horny. I moved to the other room and had fun with myself and THE EGG. The thing is I wanted to share it with them so I came back and we manage to engage her into it.

All was good until he started to penetrate me, she ran out crying and he comforted her.

After all, my high innocence of thinking a three way relationship being perfect was not focused on feelings.

I finished myself and she did as well in a way (as she needed a good cry) and they came back to sleep.

My head still felt agitated and I wanted to smoke. Started to prepare things to roll a joint when I discovered I didn't had papers... What to do? I really wanted to end the night with a joint. Still I went in the balcony to enjoy some fresh air and saw my friend Barbara was online. Felt the hurge to call her and listen to her voice, it felt so good. But why was she awake, I asked. I undertood she was having a sexual experience of herself and it all made sense, we felt so connected. And guess what, she went out to smoke a joint as well, I was so jealous...

So after hanging up, I left the house to buy some and suddenly I had this burst of energy, was even smilling in the street at 5:30am. Arrived in the gas station and it wasn't open. What to do???? Aproched the first person that I saw and DING DING DING, he had papers. I wanted to hug the man!

I came back to the house smilling again and ended my night with a joint and the feeling of warm in my heart as it was a beautiful connecting experience that seemed it went on for days.

Drug experiments

I committed to experiment some different drugs and their effects. I'm now in Netherlands and it seems to be a good place to do so.

I experimented coke, truffles and LSD for the first time.

Let's start with coke... Supposedly the drug of the rich, right? Gives you a lot of energy and focus. Well, to me it's not worth it at all. Only kept me a bit more awake and even made me a bit indisposed. I really don't like the taste and the feeling that stays in the nose after sniffing it. So, I don't get the big fuss. Shoud I pay 60€, or ok, at least 30€ divided if I want to feel awake? No thank you, I'll take a coffe or a nap.

Moving to truffles, I was curious about this one because it's so similar to mushrooms and I really love their effect. To take this type of drugs I really advise it to be done in an open environment, in the nature, with not many people around. Of course the other experience I related it was good as well, very good, but I feel this drugs are made for us to appreciate more the nature and how does it connects with ourselves.

So I took them in a lake and it couldn't have been better as the weather was just perfect. How is it possible in middle September in Netherlands I really don't know, but the circumstances were just perfect.

In the beggining somehow I always feel a bit sick, my belly feels strange, but after a while it disappeares and I start to notice things more. Colours become brighter, shapes become special, and all senses are hiped.

I was not so excited about taking it late because in the dark I wouldn't appreciate it so much... It was even better. The sunset colours were marvellous and in the dark we managed to appreciate other things.

Two of the things I enjoyed the most were being in the water kind of dancing, doing movements with my body and swing the reflection in the water. Picking a leaf and passing touching the surface of the lake. Felt so simple and beautiful in the same time.

We had this colorful balls that changed to the colour we wanted. For some reason I was so connected to the blue. Also green, but the blue was definitely attracting me. Seeing the ball reflection in the water was magical and passing the ball through my body was feeling so good.

I was feeling beautiful. I was in my bikini, and recently I don't feel in my perfect shape, even so I was feeling the most pretty I ever been.

I left the water when it was pretty dark and moved to the more dark part of the forest were I was just appreciating the sky, the trees and myself with the blue ball. I was freely dancing and enjoying myself without any care if other people could see me.

During this trip I was fully connected with myself and committed to let things come to me.

My friend Barbara told me she had some experiences meditating, such as seeing her guardian angel and other figures. I started to see a figure as well looking into the dark. It was a brownd woody female figure and I wanted to discover more but in the same time was scared of it so eventually I sent it away.

Later we started to meditate together and it was, no doubt, one of the most beautiful but scaring experiences I had. I felt my energy connected to Barbara. I felt she was chanaling me to access something in the universe. At some moments I even felt she was using too much of my energy and felt the need to call her to earth. She wouldn't stop tho, eventually I felt we were having a intimate transcendental experience. I was seeing her body and her beauty marks. Thing is, I started to feel other body as well, one that I don't know and it scared me again so I snapped out of it. Later it all made sense as she told me she was having an intimate experience of herself with another person.

It makes me think we can access things we don't even know we're capable of.

Emotionally attached

 -Being emotionally attached to someone means having feelings of concern and care for someone, and not wanting the friendship or relationship to end. It’s an emotional connection to another person. It does not necessarily mean that you are dependent upon a person, and, in fact, it is a quite normal human response to meeting and spending time with someone who makes you happy.-

Sometimes the feeling isn't mutual or it is and it can be scary- that's the barrier in many cases. Why should it be a problem? Love comes in different ways, there's not only the romantic love but the friendship or even through a beautiful connection you can show love.

I choose to give love, that's the only way I know how.

Once a friend told me: be a friend but without showing affection. That was said in a different language so the meaning is not exactly this but it's similar. So, how exactly do you do it? Can you be a friend without showing affection? Because I can't. I care about my friends and show love towards them. It is as simple as that, I learned that I should express my emotions and not suppress them. I learned emotions are beautiful and meant to be known.

Often when I put them out there I can get hurt. Can happen. But should I do it in another way? Absolutely not. If someone doesn't respect my emotions maybe is not worth it of them anymore. And that's how you learn I guess.

People have a certain role in our lives, all of them without exception. All teach something even if it has a bad impact on us it will be transformed into something positive in the future because you absorbe it, understand it and act better next time with more and more knowledge.